Simply Denial
by Knoto
Summary: In her dreams she would love him, in her daily life she would watch him from afar and allow him near in the quiet of night, but she would never let him into her heart as a lover, and even if she had promised herself that as well she knew the truth.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well here's a fan fiction that I kinda got roped into by accidental Idiocy. Here ya go Rocky-boy! (Let's just say it's a little nickname he's earned over the years. LOL! And yes that IS a Black Lagoon reference even if he is SUCH a Moonie.) Sorry man, I know it's not you're fav. Pairing, but Kim got a hold of the one you like best, I just got the rear end of the deal…. LOL! Anyway on with the fiction. (Remind me not to pull pairing out of a hat at random ever again, I'm still trying to figure out the AmixLuna accident out and now this! LOL)

A/N: Time limit on this thing is only 45 mins, so sorry but it may not be as long as you guys hoped. (I hate speed typing!)

I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON!

* * *

Rei and Yūichirō sat in the shrine late at night with nothing better to do than to keep each other company. It wasn't every day that Rei chose to be nice to the man with a wild hairstyle who was actually pretty soft spoken. What were they doing so late at night still eluded Rei; after all, it was clear she was after the Moon princess and not the boy before her. They were good friends and even if she used him as her verbal punching bag she really did care for the man, and if he wasn't mortal she could allow herself to think that maybe, just maybe she could love him. In the end Usagi was a safely unattainable goal, and with that came repressed emotions but at the same time she knew Usagi would live just as long as she would even when her good friend would be long gone. That's why she had resolved not to love him, even if she found a very strong attachment towards him. He really allowed her to let loose and that was something rare among the Senshi, at least in the vulgar way she went about it.

"Ok, I'll think of one hold on a sec." Rei laughed for a moment. "We just need a word to define, right? How about…humanity?" She asked being deep for only a moment as his long brown hair got in the way of seeing his face. Both were acting more than a little idiotic if this new game was anything to point at.

"How about just human?" He said as he shook the hair out of his eyes. "Human is a noun. As far as a definition, let me see… how about… morons' hell bent on killing themselves in a roundabout manner." He laughed at the look that gave him; indeed he was far more undisturbed with his words when it was just Rei by his side. It was during these times he felt most at ease and he really did love her.

"Well…" She gawked momentarily. "That's a new one. Messed up alright, but it's not a definition I've heard before." She smiled before pulling her own raven tresses out of the wind to allow her lavender eyes to meet his briefly. "Just don't ever say that to Ami or Usagi, I think they would flip." She thought momentarily before she continued. "Ok then, give me one."

"Hmm." Thinking for only a moment he "Ok then, Muse." With a smug look he was sure he had trapped her that time.

"Alright, Muse I Think is a Thing, but don't quote me on it, that would make it a Noun." She looked into the sky wondering idly how to top the one he came up with before only to realize that she may just come up short. This game was to try and come up with new meaning, or ones that they thought fit. Even if a few shouldn't never make it past the confidence of the others ears it was because of this that they spoke so freely. "As for how I define it you may laugh, but here it goes." Steadying herself momentarily she couldn't believe she was about to say this next one. "Nature's brain fart for the gifted."

Needless to say she was in the game since that got a reaction out of him. "Rei!" He wasn't surprised that she said that, but rather the fact she looked so indignant while doing it. The only time that she could possibly compare as far as facial feature is when she would fight with Usagi. "That was fitting. Wrong, but fitting."

"Alright, laugh it up, very funny." Rei chided playfully as she put her hair where it belonged and allowed herself to regain her composure. "I now bestow you the gift of defining the term; Reality."

"Reality?" He asked kind of confused why she was giving him all of the deep words. Humanity, Reality, Universe, Soldier, She had been asking a lot of seemingly rhetorical words. They may have meant something too her, but he just assumed it had to do with her Miko background and not as Sailor Mars. She had been asking him meaningful things as a game, and he would reply in kind, although his were more randomized than anything else. It was a game, a test to see who could out last who and no one ever saw the end because it would go on for hours until one or both of them fell asleep. "Reality is a Thing, thus it is a Noun." He took a look at the world around him seemingly uncaring of the graveling voice he seemed to pick up when he was sleepy. Rei loved that voice; it made him sound more mature even if he didn't act like it. "Mass delusion of self proclaimed intelligent beings." He was proud in his answer and she smiled at the depth the man had.

He was a lot like Usagi. He would drive her off the deep end one day and she just knew it. She loved him regardless of that and she suspected that was also why she could also love Usagi. Both were very much the same. They both ate a lot, they both rarely showed just how smart they could be and both could be more annoying than nails on a chalkboard. Even If they were so very similar Yūichirō was also very different in one regard. She could be crass in every way possible; she could be selfish and quick to anger. He would allow her a shoulder and arms that cared for her deeply, and as many times as they would fall asleep in the grass outside the shrine he was caring. He protected her, but never did he make a move in a way that may dishonor her. This is how they always were.

"Ok, Let's see…" He said trying to think of a word to give Rei. "How about Denial?"

"Easy, that's a something." Rei said her sleepiness getting the best of her not fully awake to actually know what she was saying. With a smug look in her eyes and a slur that could only be accounted for her sleep deprivation at Three A.M. she tried to define the word given. "See Reality." She smirked not all with her normal sharp logic. "What do you think of that surf boy?"

"I think you need to go to bed." He laughed as he helped her onto her feet. She was already beyond the point of sleepy and snuggled into him as he sighed. "I Also think you need to not be sneaking around late at night any more if this is how you act the next day." His words were soft as he picked her up into his arms. As she lay in his warm embrace he carried her to the bed and tucked her in sighing at the fact she would most likely want to hit him in the morning for no apparent reason. As he closed the door to her bedroom he whispered one final thought, one although she heard almost nightly she would never be able to answer him. "Why do you always avoid that word Rei? What is so bad about the word Denial?"

In her depth of sleep she answered his thought within her mind, it wasn't one she was proud of yet it was the only one she had. 'Because if I told you what that means, it would mean you, me and everything I stand for. Usagi told me to kiss you back at D-Point but I was unable, I do love you so very much, but if I ever had to lose you as a lover it would be too much." In her dreams she would love him, in her daily life she would watch him from afar and allow him near in the quiet of night, but she would never let him into her heart as a lover, and even if she had promised herself that as well she knew the truth. "That too is simply Denial."

-END-

* * *

Please read and review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright. So I have had people asking me to continue this a bit and I've decide I'll give it a try. Be warned though, I'm not very good with male/female pairings. I usually stick to Yuri. This will be interesting because I've no real idea what to say to do but let it bloom from where it left off and see where it leads. (Like I had said, I made it in 45 mins and didn't really plan on developing it past that point.) so, we will play around with this a bit and see where it goes. It will most likely be only a three of four shot.

I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON!!!!

* * *

Chapter 2: Play another game.

It was hot. To damn hot for its own good as Rei laid in the grass looking at the stars. Yūichirō hadn't come out of the shrine yet and it had confused Rei. He was normally here by now. She would wait; she would give him a little more time. She owed him that much. She didn't have to wait long after all she noticed as she heard footsteps and then someone take a seat. "Took you long enough." Her sarcasm evident like always at this time of night was softened by the smile on her face.

"Sorry. I lost track of time." He nodded his apology. Then he too placed his head in the grass. "Same game?" he asked. As Rei nodded to him, he smiled with a troublesome look. "Denial. You haven't defined it yet. Not properly anyway."

She thought for a moment before seeing a way out. "Noun. A word I won't answer for you." She said with her tongue out like a cobra.

"Don't do that unless you intend to use it." He chided playfully knowing he would get hit. As always Rei clocked him on the side of the head for such remarks, although it wasn't ever hard enough to be painful. "Sorry!" He yelped. He really wasn't and they both knew it.

"Alright, enough with the perv thing." She growled annoyed and teeth clenched. "Define Paradox oh great man of wisdom!" She was going over the top and he had to pause and think momentarily.

"hmmm Paradox?" He paused wondering for a moment. "Paradox is a noun." He halted in his thinking a moment. "What happens when you divide by Zero!" He exclaimed victorious. All he had to do was get a rise out of her somehow, yet he seemed to have failed that time.

"hmmm" Rei sighed as pulled her long hair out of her way. "I was thinking more like this." She paused and sat upright knowing this was going to be very unbecoming of a miko such as her. She didn't care, the day was stressful and she needed to blow off steam. This was her way of going about it. She wasn't a saint after all. "Paradox: When fate fucks it's self up the ass!"

That got him. Yūichirō had lost that game for sure. He couldn't counter that. He could, surely he knew how, but Rei had already done a good enough job mangling the term to shreds. He could however cop an attitude. "I didn't know fate had such a place. I didn't even think it had a body."

"Well I say it does." Rei shot back as she tackled him to the ground. "Besides you of all people know there is a dark side to every light." Her eyes grew serous and before she knew it she was looking into his eyes. 'No.' she thought pulling away. She wouldn't allow herself to get that close. She couldn't allow herself to get that close again.

"There may be a light side and a dark side but have you ever thought that perhaps neither are correct?" He said solemnly. He saw. He knew. That look wasn't one of her normal brash reactions even if what started it had been from a base response of one. He wanted to know. A new game now would ensue, one of barely there guesses with answers veiled by replies of only half truths. "Don't you think gray is better?"

"This from the idiot who says sprite is green." She sighed as he looked onward beyond the point of innocent. He really way besides a few bouts of being a toilet mouth, not that Rei was any better.

"It is green!" He went on to further explain his logic. "Sprite is clear; therefore it is the same color as any item it is held in. They mostly come in green plastic bottles. Thus, the true color is green!"

"I'll never win this will I?" she sighed at his explanation, this seemed to be a weekly conversation among them.

"Nope." He laughed as he shook his head in a goofy way shaking his hair from side to side. "Anyway, what do you think about the color gray?"

"I think it's undefined able. It's kinda light, kinda dark. It just is." Rei hated talking about the color gray. It wasn't like light or dark. It was muddled. It could be both. Lines could be blurry and undefined. She hated the color gray. It was the only thing that allowed light to pass into dark and vice versa. She hated knowing that.

"That's just it. That can be both." Yūichirō laughed at the look she sent him. "I want to be both too. I hate definitions life gives us. I just want to be, you know?"

She looked at him softly. She would break by that admittance. She hated knowing she loved him so much. Her focus needed to remain on Usagi. "I think I'm going to go to bed." She said softly going into her room through the outside entrance and closing the door. She plopped down onto her bed sighing at what he had just said. Her eyes became watery and she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to ease the conflict in her mind. 'I want to be gray Yūichirō. I want to be both. I want to fight for what I think is right and not always have to fight for the light side. I want to be a selfish woman. Just once I want to want for myself and have that want granted to me. I just want to be gray. If I could be both them maybe I could risk it. Perhaps if I was gray I could love you.'

She inhaled a deep breath as she watched him continued to sit outside. He spoke softly and he knew she could hear him. "Rei, I don't know why you hide from me. I saw that hurt tonight. That same one I see a lot now. I just want to know what's wrong with you."As he stood to leave she whispered back to him knowing he was out of ear shot.

"I don't want to be denied my love for you. I refuse to lose you one day as any more than a dear friend. You can be gray but I cannot." She rolled over in her bed as she sighed. 'I refuse to answer you what that word means. I know in my heart that I must fight for the light. That I will always fight for the light. I will never be a normal human like you.'

Moments later she heard a knock on her bedroom door. Opening it she saw Yūichirō standing there with a soft smile on his face and an old worn out shoebox. "Hey Rei, let's play another game." She let him in and watched as he set the box on the table. "Come here and sit. I'll deal out the cards." Rei complied, but in reality she had no idea what she was in for.

TBC!

* * *

Leave me a review on this. I hope to god I didn't butcher this too much.


End file.
